Independence

I have the best sisters (sis-in-law included) in the whole world!  I just love seeing them in action as they raise their children . . . which I got to do this last week as we had a mini-family reunion -- we were missing our sweet sissy Sarah though. :(  

There have been many conversations over the years about raising kids and our hopes and dreams for them.  Among these dreams that we all share for our children, is to teach them to be independent.

A friend of mine was telling me about her husband and what a great help he was to her around the house.  She said, "his mom taught him really well".  I left wondering what things I was teaching my sons (and daughters) "really well". 

Although I have really good intentions, I'm not so sure that I'm as on the ball with teaching independence as I need to be. 

I recently read a book that I just LOVED, and must share it!

It's called, "The Parenting Breakthrough", by Merrilee Boyack.

She shares all sorts of advice and tips to teach children to work, to learn new skills, to manage money, etc. 

She explains how to develop a "Master Plan" for training kids to be independent.  She has a couple of chapters on financial training.  She talks about establishing a "family identity", "family mottos", and shaping your "family environment".  I also liked her idea of making a "family timeline" with a 10 year projection, listing each family member and what they hope to be doing or accomplishing over the years (including family vacations, etc.).  This allows for better planning as you can see what's coming . . . like noticing that we only have 5 years left before our oldest son graduates from high school!  So we need to decide what we want to do, where we want to go, what goals we need to set, etc. before he's gone!

There are seriously so many things that I liked, that it's really hard to hightlight my favorites.  But another part she included was a BIG breakdown by age of ALL sorts of things kids should be able to do at each age, from 3 yrs. old to 18 yrs. old. 

I just went through these lists and made my own personal list for each of my children of things I'm planning on "training" them to do this summer.

Here's a sampling from her lists:

THREE YEARS OLD

Dress self

Use toilet independently

Beginning to brush teeth

Pick up toys

Say prayers

Clean glass tables

FOUR YEARS OLD

Brush teeth

Make bed

Make own breakfast

Make sandwhiches

Beginning to clean room

FIVE YEARS OLD
Straighten room

Vacuum

Empty garbage cans

Set table

Clear table

Make own lunch

Warm up canned food

Get allowance

SIX YEARS OLD

Take shower

Dust

Load dishwasher

Empty dishwasher

Clean sinks

Run microwave

Water plants

Make and answer phone calls

The lists get better and better as they get older . . . like having a savings account when they are seven; baking, sewing on a button, filling car with gas when they are nine; doing own laundry when they are ten; planning meals and making main dishes when they are eleven; etc, etc.

It's the kind of book you keep and use as a reference over the years -- I've already read several sections over and over again.  Of course you have to kind of put things into your own "context" for your family . . . her personality and her family are different from mine (we're not star wars fans, or die hard scouters), but most of what she shares is quite useful.

Anyway, just thought I'd share.  :)

Now let's go raise some independent children!!

Cleaning and scrubbing can wait til tomorrow.

For babies grow up, we’ve learned to our sorrow.

So quiet down, cobwebs.

Dust, go to sleep.

I’m rocking my baby, and babies don’t keep.

I have had this crosstiched quote in the nursery, since my first baby was born (it was a gift). 

Our days can seem so overwhelming with all of the demands we have on us, and lots of worthwile things to attend to.  I love that it reminds me to pay attention to the very most important things in my life. 

Today I just feel like soaking up my little ones . . . everything else can wait.  :)

Enjoy your day!



Imagination Library

Have you heard of Dolly Parton's Imagination Library? If not, you NEED to check it out! I heard about it from a friend last year and signed up. The purpose of the program is to foster a love of reading in preschool aged children. They send one free book every month to children ages 0 to 5 years. I don't know if its available everywhere, but you can sign up and find out if they do it in your area. Once you sign up, be patient because it takes a few months to get your first book. The first book for every child is The Little Engine That Could. After that, its a surprise! We got our first books in January, and the kids love that the books are sent just for them!

Strong Willed Children

I need some help! My sweet little Addie...

is not always all that 'sweet'. I really don't know what to do with her. She has major meltdowns when she doesn't get her way, she yells A LOT, and cries lots too. I know what you're thinking...she's 3, that's what 3 year olds do. Or maybe...she's a GIRL!! But its not just that. Jack went through this stage when he was 3 too, but he was more manageable. We could send him to his own space to calm down and he would come back a whole new kid. I tried that with Addie on Sunday (and many other times too)...at church. She just screamed louder and started kicking the door. I don't want to say its embarrassing because somehow that makes me feel like a bad mom, but it really is embarrassing. I'll ask her to do something, like brush her teeth, and her response is, "Never, I will NEVER brush my teeth!" She's not a bad kid. I just am having the hardest time figuring out how to help her. Does she need more time with me, more time away from me, something more active to get energy out, more nap time, less stimulating activities in the day...I DON'T KNOW.

Is there anyone out there who can sympathize with me? Do you have kids like this? Do you have any suggestions?

Goodness, after that I feel like I also need to add...she is such a kind sweet girl too. She's not ALWAYS yelling and throwing tantrums. Sometimes she'll just run up to give me a hug and tell me she missed me and she loves me "SO MUCH!" And she loves 'cuddles' and helping me make dinner, which I think is sweet.

Cleaning Inspectors...

As you've heard me mention, we are selling our home (goes on the MLS today!! YIKES!!!)  so in preparation to listing it we have been in dejunking, decluttering, and in heavy duty cleaning mode! We are pretty good at day to day cleaning and picking up after our selves but when it comes to having it in "perfect  model condition" I'm sad to say we fall short!! We definitely LIVE in our house if you know what I mean! 

don't get me wrong, our kids have chores and work hard to keep things in order  and let me tell you...teaching 5 little people how to care about cleanliness and order is no easy feat! It requires time (takes WAY longer to teach a kiddo to clean than to just do it yourself), patience, love, persistence, and consistency.. just like it would to develop any good habit.  I know it is important and it will help them in so many areas of their life. 
Especially if you have some naturally unorganized boys kids that need help  in this area. We have worked hard over the years to instill good cleaning habits and have done routine chore lists, charts, incentives...we have tried LOTS of things that work and find that when it stops working we adapt or try something new.

 When they were smaller we did "miracle music" where getting the chores done was like a game- we played a series of songs that had a set job/chore associated with each particular song and the challenge was to get each chore done by the end of each song. they got a point for each song/chore they completed and on their chart they would write down how many points they got. When they got to 100pts (about a month if they got all their pts each time) they got to go on a date and pick what to do with mom or dad - which was written on their chart as a reminder to what they were working towards. They loved it and it totally worked for quite a while. It even worked for mom and dad too, while the monkeys cleaned, Mike and I would clean up the kitchen mess from dinner and pick up around the house until the songs where over (which were fast paced classical music that made me want to move fast!)- it was about 20 minutes of music (4-5 songs) while everyone in the house age 2 and up would clean like mad! It was awesome!!! After a few years of that they got tired of the songs and so we changed it up.Recently we've done "10 for 10" or "20 for 20" still to music of our choice (10 or 20 mins of cleaning depending on how much cleaning is involved in exchange for 10 or 20 minutes of family dance or family wii afterwards) this works good too...

But now with the higher expectation of having it look "perfect" and like nobody lives here, we have had to step up our game...so we came up with "cleaning inspectors" . We recently hired an inspector come to tell us what things needed fixing before we listed the house. The kids saw him inspect each room carefully and thoroughly...kind of like I was doing each night with each and every single room in the house before bed. I quickly grew tired of telling each child that while "yes, it looks cleaner than before and by our usual standards it works" (neat and tidy with nothing on floor things put away, but still a few books on dresser or dolls in the corner ) but for SHOWING our home to potential buyers it was NOT clean enough...poor kids! I was feeling like a super picky, naggy momma! So we came up with a game to get each child to "catch the vision" of what we were looking for with out it having to be such a drag!! So each kiddo (J,Z,S,B) has a night that they get to be "Cleaning Inspector" (the other 2 nights Mike and I trade off and we don't do it on Sunday:)

here are the rules:

1. Inspector goes around inspecting how everyone is doing during our "20 for 20" routine (it's longer these days since we are aiming for perfection;) and the inspector just observes and can (if he/she is a nice inspector) give tips or point out areas they may be missing.

2. Inspector gives 5 minute warning when it's almost time to be done. Then a 1 minute warning.

3. Each kiddo has to report to the inspector when their assigned area is complete

4. The inspector then carefully evaluates each area and then can give 1 warning if they missed something and they have 2 minutes to fix this while he goes on to inspect the other areas. afterwards the inspector will reevaluate and approve or disapprove.

5. If the inspector approves he/she can give out a piece of candy like a starburst or something small as their reward (if it's late I stick the candy in their lunch box the next day)

6. If the other kiddos report that the inspector did a good job (was nice and not mean to them or was helpful to them) the inspector gets 1 piece of candy

7. After the inspector reports that the house is clean, Mike or I go through and make sure the inspector did his job- if it's totally perfect the inspector gets another piece of candy

So the inspector can earn up to 2 pieces of candy AND doesn't have to do any actual work, other than gently guiding and supervising the work and make sure it is getting done. They love it because they get 2 pieces of candy with out having to work 1 x a week and they feel like they get to be in charge. I love this because it is helping them learn how to do things more thoroughly and develop a critical eye...AND it keeps me from hovering and nagging and frees up my time to do other things they can't do like packing or putting away my own laundry (though Sav could and would probably do this for me- she's a sassy one;) 

So far this is working! I'm hoping we can keep it up till the house sells and hopefully put it into practice in our new home too! Wish me luck!! I know there are millions of ideas out there on how to teach our kiddos the value of hard work and I love hearing what others do that works for them...do you have something that works for you? 

Do share! 
(they're never too young to start-right?:)

Art Party: Part II

Continued from Art Party: Part I

After we filled ourselves with sugar, we headed outside with a big drop cloth, some paint, chalk, paper, and canvases, and set out to make our own works of art.

Our first project was bubble art.

They had fun with it, but the color is very subtle, so I think they were in need of something more vibrant. Luckily, our next project took care of that.

We made DRIP ART (at least that's what I'm calling it). Pretty sure this was the favorite of the day. We started with a layer of white paint on our canvas. Then dripped a few new colors on, and tilted the canvas to spread the color. We continued the process of dripping and tilting, until there were no more white spots.

The end result was a beautiful swirl of color.

We brought our masterpieces inside, hung the bubble art on a clothesline in the kitchen and laid the drip art on some wax paper to dry.

Each kid got a goodie bag with a mini etch-a-sketch, watercolor paint palette, and box of crayons, so they can continue to make their own art at home.

Credits:

bubble painting: Housing a Forest

drip art: Housing a Forest

goodie bags and contents: ZURCHERS (greatest party store EVAH!)

more art party ideas on my pinterest board. wish i could've done them all.

The Mom Challenge

I'm sure I'm not the only one who's seen 'The Mom Challenge' floating around Pinterest.

This is the first week, so you haven't missed a thing. The first mini challenge is to EAT DINNER WITH YOUR CHILDREN- no tv, no phones, no distraction. Go to 'Live a FabuLESS Life' to read more, and let's do the challenge together!

.............................................................

I love learning new ways to connect with my children. My husband and I decided to map out a whole year's worth of one on one dates with our kids.

Our youngest is only one year old and so she gets a lot of attention already. We're focusing on our two older boys (5 and 6 1/2) for the dates. Each month, husband and I will switch kids. We have a big board in our room, with all of the date cards taped on. At the beginning of each month, we open an envelope and look at the date for that month. Then we look at the calendar and decide on a day for our date.

To give you an idea of the dates, in January, I took Colson to Barnes and Noble, where we read lots of books, got some soup and a cookie, and he got to pick out a book to take home at the end of the night. Brad took Griffin driving (Griff got to sit in daddy's lap and drive. Only through a parking lot of course. Not on the road.) and then they went out for ice cream.

In February, I made Valentine's Day sugar cookies and Whoopie pies with Griff (he's got a major sweet tooth so I knew he'd love this) and Brad took Colson to the Bean Museum to see the animals.

This has been a really fun thing for us so far, and I think it's safe to say we all look forward to the dates each month.

Handmade Gift 2 and 3

For my two boys, I felt like I should give the SAME gift. For one thing, they can play with them TOGETHER, but aside from that, no matter how hard you try to get them both something unique, it will always turn into a competition for who's gift is better.

When I saw these tiny little bows and arrows on Pinterest, they just SCREAMED 'little boy adventure', so I knew I wanted to make some for my boysies. I can't wait to see their little faces when they open these. Instructions HERE.

I also made little pouches to put them in. I'm kind of a funny sewer. Sewing is not one of my strengths. I'm a little too impatient to take my time and do it right, so I always just jump right in without any instructions. Which is ironic because it ends up taking much LONGER, trying to re-do all of my mistakes. But, alas, they eventually turned out! {I stuck half of a toilet paper roll inside of them, to give them shape.}

(see handmade gift 1 here)

Sneak Peak

Christmas is sneaking up on us WAY too fast! I wish I could freeze time.

Each one of us is making something by hand for each one of the other members in the family. Here's a little sneak peak of my gift for the boys.

It doesn't look like much right now, but I think they're going to like it and I'm a bit excited about it. I'll post pictures when it's complete.

DIY Little Girl Leggings

Oh. My. Goodness!!! I love these! I always thought I could use old shirts to make leggings for my girls, but I tend to doubt myself until someone else tells me it really is possible. While perusing Made quite a while back I found this tutorial and I was so excited!

I made some cute little green and white striped capri leggings for Addie back in the spring. She wore them almost everyday throughout the summer!

So, when I found a red and white striped shirt at the thrift store (with the perfect amount of stretch!) I knew my girls just had to have some candy cane leggings for the holiday season!

I really wanted to make a pair for both of my girls so I got a little creative. I made Addie a pair of pants from the body of the shirt, and I used the sleeves to make a pair for Ellie. I wouldn't recommend doing that, but it all worked out in the end. They love their new pants! Well, Ellie doesn't really care, but Addie wanted to wear hers for a week straight. I had to convince her to let me wash them.

Crystal Snowflakes

My kids thought these were the prettiest snowflakes they've ever seen!

Supplies:

Pipe cleaners

pencils

string

boiling water

Borax (found in the laundry aisle at the supermarket)

wide mouth container

First you take the pipe cleaner and cut it into 3 equal pieces. Then twist them together and spread the ends out to make your desired snowflake shape. We decided also to make a J and A for the kiddies.

Then attach a piece of string (I wouldn't recommend using twine like I did. It was too stiff and kind of made the snowflakes flip into each other) to one end of the snowflake and tie the other end of the string around a pencil (or other object that you can set across the top of the container so that the snowflake dangles).

Now, set the snowflake aside. Fill the container with boiling water (keep track of how much you add). For every cup of water you want to add 3 tablespoons of Borax. Stir to dissolve the borax. If some of it just won't dissolve, that's okay...it will still work.

Dangle your snowflake into the water and let it sit. I've heard you should wait over night, but I never really understood what that means. If I put it in at 1am and let it sit until I get up at 7am, is that long enough? Anyway, I put mine in the water at 10:30pm and at 7:30am they were done!

Its best to use one container per snowflake, but I could only find one so I put all three in at the same time. You don't want your snowflakes to touch each other or they'll get stuck together.

When we took them out to let them dry Addie was so excited to EAT hers! I guess will have to give rock candy a try some time soon! (ps. I did not let her taste it!!)

These little beauties are going make it onto the kids Christmas tree in their room. I wanted to hang them in a window so we could watch them sparkle, but I lost the vote!

What a *SUPER* Day!

Carrie made our nephews super capes for Christmas a couple years ago and they've been a big hit. Jack dons his daily, so I decided little miss Addie needed to be able to be 'super' too. I asked what colors she wanted but all she would say was pink. So one side of the cape is pink, and the other is patterned after Tinkerbell colors (her yellow hair, green dress, and white puff on her shoes).

I just made up a shape and cut out identical pieces from each color (I just used some cheap broadcloth). Then I sewed a super symbol (made out of felt) to each.

Then, with right sides facing, I sewed them together (leaving an open space for turning). I flipped it right side out and stitched around the edge again to make it look finished. I added Velcro to the neck and it called it done!

The kids had a blast! There's no time for a posed shot when there are so many 'super' things that need to be done!

Easter Crafts

My little Jack-a-doo LOVES to do crafts! I guess that's part of being a 4 year old. We've been trying out some Easter crafts lately and I want to share some of our faves!

Egg Creatures from Make and Takes:

We found the idea for these cute little guys on Make and Takes. We made more bunnies, chicks, and a carrot, but I can't find them anywhere. I think little Add probably took them to nap time with her. The kids (2 and 4) REALLY loved this one! They couldn't do much of it themselves, but they told me what they were making and where to put things, so it was still their creation. The orange egg in the picture was made by Jack. He worked the pipe cleaners all by himself. He tells me its a carrot! The blue Mommy Alien is my personal favorite. Can you see her earrings?

You can go to Make and Takes for the instructions, but what I did is grabbed any crafting supply I thought I might need and got to work. We used plastic eggs (obviously), foam craft paper, pipe cleaners, wiggly eyes, jewels, a permanent marker, a hot glue gun, and our imaginations. We're going to set these out tomorrow in hopes that the Easter bunny will fill them with candy and hide them for us to find!

Water Color Eggs from my friend:

We did this today while Addie was sleeping. I printed off some egg shapes and we colored designs in the eggs with a white crayon. Then we colored over the egg with watercolors and the designs magically appear! Jack didn't really get it until I painted an egg and "I 'heart' Jack" appeared. Then he got really excited and said, "This is so DANG cool! This is SO dang cool!." He didn't always push hard enough with the crayon, and his pictures didn't always appear, but he loves to paint so it all worked out!

Little Chick from Kaboose:

I just saw a picture of this in Google Images and we made up our own, but for the purpose of the blog I decided to dig a little deeper and found the instructions on Kaboose. We made ours with foam craft paper. We cut out an egg shape for the body, traced our hands for the wings, and made up our own shapes for the legs and beak. Jack did most of this himself. I drew the shapes and he cut them out and glued them on. He was very proud of his creation.

This picture is a little sneak peek at tomorrow's post...Easter dresses for the girls!!

See you then!

Edible Paint

I'm not really feeling this weather. Inspiration is at an all-time low.

Not to mention, we've all been sick in my house for over a week.

Since I'm not really feeling up to blogging, I thought I'd just post a quick idea to do with the kids. I did this with my 4 year old a few weeks ago and he LOVED it!

So here's the secret:

Evaporated milk.

That's it! Just add some food coloring and you've got yourself some cheap, edible paint to use on marshmallows, popcorn, graham crackers, and whatever else you and your little one deem worthy.

Have fun, and let's hope this weather lets up soon, so we can play outside again.

Amy Atlas

Amy Atlas is my hero. I mean, really. Could this be any cuter?

My three year old turns FOUR in just a few days. Oh how I wish I could pull something like this off.